Prostate Pleasure

By Larry Siegel, M.A.

HIV Prevention and Treatment, Pharmacology and Drug Use, Gender Issues

HSAB Affiliation: Contributing Expert

For most men, any thought involving the prostate is either in the context of cancer or a dreaded physical exam. The thought of anal play, particularly involving any type of insertion, conjures up all kinds of defensiveness and homophobic denial. Many men have not allowed themselves to experience the pleasurable sensations that are produced when the prostate is stimulated. Until recently, the pleasures of the prostate have remained somewhat hidden.

Anal play in general, and prostate play in particular, has been getting more attention recently. Part of this is due to several studies which have shown that men who ejaculate regularly, especially in their 20's and early 30's, have a lower incidence of prostate cancer later in life.

Tantric sexual practices have also become more popular, and in Tantric philosophy, the prostate is considered to be the nerve and emotional center of male sexuality and vitality; it is believed to be the center of feeling for sexual pleasures. Prostate stimulation has also gotten more popular due to a scene in the 1999 movie "Road Trip," where one of the characters receives the treatment in a fertility clinic. While not exactly like it appears in the movie, prostate "milking" can be intensely pleasurable for men and the prostate is considered to be the male equivalent of a woman's G-Spot. Of course, like with anything else, stimulating the prostate should be done with care and knowledge.

Prostate massage, or milking, is usually done for 3 main reasons: 1) treating a slightly enlarged or inflamed prostate, 2) to increase the amount of ejaculate and orgasmic intensity, and 3) in B/D type of play involving orgasm denial.

The prostate gland primarily releases fluid into the urethra that combines with sperm and fluid from the seminal vesicles to produce semen. It also acts as something of a pump, helping to push the semen out of the urethra during ejaculation. The prostate is located approximately 2 inches inside the anus, up toward the belly. It can be reached directly, by inserting a finger or object into the anus, or indirectly, by pressing against the perineum (the space between the scrotum and anus).

When stimulating the prostate externally, it is easier to find when the man is already sexually aroused because it swells a bit during sexual arousal. To find the prostate, insert (or have a partner insert) a finger or anal toy about 2-3 inches into the anus. Make sure you use plenty of lubrication to prevent any tears or tissue damage (only use water-soluble lube; the thicker, the better). You/they will be able to feel the prostate through the front wall of the anus (it's about the size of a walnut). Once found, experiment with the types of massaging that feels best. Some recommend pressing firmly and some say it should be done with gentle pressure, while others like a variety of pressure. There is also variation in massaging in up-and-down, in-and-out, and side-to-side motions. It's important that you be in a comfortable position and as relaxed as possible. Many men find that doing this while caressing the penis and scrotum will provide intense erotic sensations (though not necessarily an erection).

While prostate milking is fairly safe, there are some possible risks to be aware of. Excessive, direct stimulation of the prostate with vibrators, dildos, and other toys can possibly damage the prostatic nerves and cause abrasions on the prostate and urethral ducts, causing prostatitis and urethritis. If there are any sharp edges (i.e., fingernails) being inserted into the anus, it could tear or cut this very fragile tissue, resulting in infection. If you have acute bacterial prostatitis, vigorous massaging may result in septicaemia, or blood poisoning and if there is any prostate cancer present, it could cause metastasis (spreading to other parts of the body) of the cancer cells.

In addition, a recent study of HIV-infected men in England showed that prostate massage actually released more HIV into the semen in men who had previously undetectable viral loads, resulting in an increased infectiousness of these men.

Here are some tips to help make it a safer, more enjoyable experience:

1) Wash your hands and your anus well, both before and after anal penetration.

2) Trim your fingernails and make sure they're clean.

3) Get aroused before attempting to stimulate the prostate. Because the prostate swells when you're aroused, it will be easier to find and often easier to insert something into the anus. (watch movies, pleasure yourself or be pleasured, fantasize, etc.)

4) Get in a comfortable position. It often helps to prop your butt up with a pillow.

5) Massage the anus and perineum before insertion, gently pushing from your anus to help relax the anal sphincter.

6) Use lots of lubricant and enter slowly when inserting fingers or objects into the anus. Breathe deeply and continue relaxing the sphincter. Go deeper only when you're used to the sensation and feel comfortable with the insertion at that point.

7) Find the prostate and gently stroke it up towards the belly.

8) If using an anal toy, use it the same way you would your finger, pointing it slightly upward. Remember to use lots of lubricant! Most importantly, use a toy (butt plug or vibrator) with a flared base to prevent it from being pulled up into the colon.

9) Masturbate in your favorite way while paying attention to the sensations coming from your prostate. If your partner is doing it to you, have them masturbate you or perform oral sex. This will greatly add to your pleasure.

10) Experiment and have fun!

For those men who fear that anal play or penetration may lead to homosexual thoughts or feelings (or that they might be perceived as such), you might want to reconsider. Many heterosexual men greatly enjoy prostate massage with their female partners and remain quite confident in their masculinity. If you allow yourself to work through and resolve those unfounded fears, you will allow yourself to experience a whole new realm of sexual pleasure and derive the health benefits that come with it.